All right so we're back again and we're gon na continue on our series of how we live the HVAC our life again, my name is Chris. If you guys don't already know - and this is my wife Jill sitting next to me - hi and we are gon na continue if you haven't already, I would highly suggest that you guys watch the first two episodes they kind of give some context. The first episode is kind of a summary about how this whole series is gon na go. The second episode was the last episode we just covered, and I'm gon na recap that a little bit right now, but all plot.

If you pay attention right now, there's a card popping up and it'll give you a link to the first two videos. I would highly suggest like. I said you guys, watch those first, okay, okay, so we ended the last episode talking about you know. We made a big decision in our lives and we found that a move was the right decision for us.

Inevitably, you know Jill had been wanting to move for a while and I was a little reluctant to, but we finally made that decision, and you know it in you know. In the end, it was a great decision for us, it changed our lives and it bettered our lives. Okay, but I kind of want to go back before that and we're gon na start into this episode, and I want to cover a couple things that led up just before the move that led to this episode and in this episode right now, we're going to be Talking about some of our medical problems, I have anxiety some depression issues and then Jill had some health issues too, and we're gon na kind of go into depth in those ones. So to go back.

This was really shortly before we moved. There was one incident that really turned the page for me in my head, and I know that it scared you. It was first time I ever like thought. I could be scared.

Okay, and I sensed that nervousness. I sensed you're you're you're. You were free, yeah, you weren't afraid of me, but I sensed that you were afraid for me and what happened was Jill was at work one day. I really don't even remember the incident.

I don't remember what it was that caused me to do this, but I used to bottle things up. I would never deal with anger. I'm sure there's been a few incidents where you know I would break a tool or throw it. You know a remote yeah, I'm sure I'm sure wasn't working right or keyboard yeah yeah I can.

I can remember both of those snapping a keyboard in half, because the battery was dead. I think and throwing a remote. I don't know if I threw it at the TV or the wall, but it was a way that I dealt with things. I bottled things up and then I snapped okay, but this particular incident.

What happened was it was the first thing. I've really ever got physical and I didn't get physical with Jill or my kids or anything, but I punched a wall and what was really scary for me was. It was instant gratification. I was so angry and I finally let it out and I punched a hole in the wall and stupid me.

I was extremely lucky that I punched in between the studs, because you don't think about that stuff when you do it, but I punched the wall hard enough, that my arm went through the wall and luckily I didn't hit the stud. Because how do I hit the stud, I would have busted my knuckles, okay, really bad, and I wouldn't been able to work and gosh. That would but I mean that was that was where things went with me. I mean you didn't.

I was afraid that I was gon na go to a bad place. Okay, so the incident happened. I punched a hole in the wall, I felt instant gratification, but then I felt instant shame and I didn't address it. I left it alone.

I left the hole in the wall and then you came home from work. Do you remember coming home from work and I can't remember how it happened you you said something to me. Do you remember any of that vaguely? I don't remember if I noticed, like your hand, was hurt or there was a hole in the wall. I don't remember, but it might be, was the hole in the wall and I was like what happened, yeah and happened, but the way that you asked me you you were, I saw the disappointment when I said I got angry and I punched the wall.

I was confused, I was yeah, I was. I was like that's not you like yeah, I mean I know you get like. You know frustrated with things, but I mean it was like the remotes or something, but it wasn't and there's no. The shame that I felt was so angry.

What really scared me, because it felt so good guys it felt so good to punch that wall, but yet okay, everything goes through my head. I swear. It was just a moment in time, and this was when she uh, you know, asked me about it, and - and I had that instant regret when I told her, I punched the wall and I could see the disappointment in her eyes and - and I could almost see Fear and again guys make it clear, I'm not threatening her. I wasn't threatening the kids, nothing like that.

I never like been angry towards us, but I think at that point I kind of like went through my head like what, if like, where could you know like what next and you mean I guess it was just getting hearing. You know it's getting kind of progressively yeah and that's what was going through my mind and again guys we're gon na lead into some other things with this. But I didn't communicate that to you, but it was going through my mind and it was pretty much guys that moment that I needed some help. Okay, I didn't know how really I needed to start doing some research, and it took me a couple months of doing some research and calling the insurance company and getting approvals to see a mental health person or whatever right.

A psychologist is what I want to go. See I think, whichever one can prescribe meds. That's what I want to go see so anyways. You know I decided to go.

Do that and I and we we. We went down that path. Okay, but you know I I decided to see a doctor and then you know, but in the meantime, while all that's going on now we're back at the point that we last there left the last episode, we decided to make a move. Okay and we moved.

You know down the hill, like I told you guys: okay, we lived up in the Victorville area and we moved down to the Riverside area of California and I had even more problems that opened up a lot more stuff with me. Okay - and I don't know that - I I think you you sensed some of it, but I don't know if I communicated at all to you. I know that you were super stoked about the move. Like you, I think in your eyes it was going to fix everything.

I really know that I thought it was gon na fix everything. I just thought it would make things better. I thought it would make financial and time, and I thought that that would take a lot a way of like the stress that was going on. There was like just so much more underlining and for me, the move to add some context.

It made me feel like we were going backwards in life. Okay, because, while I knew it was gon na be a better for our family, we we owned our home and I've not outright, but we owned our home and made mortgage payments on it in Victorville, okay, but our home. We couldn't sell our home because we didn't have the right amount of equity. In our home, mind you we bought.

Our house, like I said recap in the last episode just right about the top of the broke, the the real estate bubble in the 2005 issue. Ainge and then the market crashed - and we still hadn't come back up from that. Okay, so, but we we had to make the move. So we made the move, but in doing that, what that meant was that we had to find tenants for our home that we owned.

We had to rent our home out, and that was hard for me and then to add insult to injury. We couldn't afford to buy another home while we were still making our other mortgage payment because those tenants they weren't making our total mortgage payment. So we were losing money every month, but it was just one of those things. It's just life right.

It's just how it happens. So in order to move down the hill we were gon na have to become renters ourselves, so we still owned a home and we had renters in it, but then we had to moot. You know to move to a better life. We had to rent another home, so we were renting a home from someone else and we became tenants and all of that you know just really kind of bottled everything up: okay and it just.

It was hard for me because I felt like we were going backwards and I feel like we. You know I felt some of that too, but I remember going into that house like and if it wasn't working for us, we were going to move like, but we didn't really account for the market crashing and all of that stuff and ending up being like stuck. You know stuck in the situation and we just kind of had to do something to get out of that which it was out of your comfort zone, my comfort zone, I mean you think about things more than I do, but I just kind of thought of, like Okay, having you home or being closer to everything else, I think it just makes a difference when you don't live your whole life in the city that you yeah live. I don't know in a difference and everything gets everything gets better.

Okay, but the first morning that I woke up, I literally woke up half an hour 45 minutes before I needed to be at work, and that was I wasn't late. I was on time. I wasn't in a rush, and that's when I kind of it is something popped in my head and made me like think: okay, this is gon na, be okay, because this was now potentially gon na, be saving me three hours a day by living down here. Three hours in traffic a day I was potentially gon na save take away from my day, and I was gon na be home more after you know a little bit of time of living in our new house.

I finally made it to go see the doctor. After dealing with all the research, I'm a big research person, I don't like to make any decisions, especially big life decisions, without sitting down and thinking about every aspect of it, and I'm sure that has something to do with a little bit of mental disorder that I Have but I really overthink things I purposely do that. I try to think of every angle every aspect: what's the best way, all this different stuff. So that way, when I go to do something, I don't know what it is, I don't know if I feel like I'm solved, I don't know I just I overthink everything, okay, so after doing a bunch of research and all this different stuff, I finally made it In to see a doctor, okay, we decided on a course of action.

Okay and - and when I say we it was, it was very much him the doctor in myself. You know we discussed things and he upfront asked me, you know: do you want to try treatment with medicine? Do you want to try treatment without medicine? How do you want to do this, so I really did feel comfortable and do you remember me sharing that stuff with you? I don't know if I shared it or if I just made the decisions to do it yeah. I think you made the decisions when you told me about him, like you had like described, was like what the medicine would help you do, and you thought that that would be the best way to go, because it was delayed. Kind of the reaction that you and like it gave you the time to think about your reaction, and so I think you felt that that would help the best yeah.

So you know the the course of action was essentially to start off was 18 months of medication. They put me on an antidepressant and the way that it was described to me was kind of like what you were describing okay and then, during that 18 months of medication, I had to see a therapist. I think I think in the beginning I saw it therapist two times it was maybe towards the end yeah they like petered off, but so the way that it was described to me man. You know this is just my silly way of understanding and I could be totally wrong, but the way the doctor said is is that the medication wasn't to fix me.

Okay, the medication - and this actually makes sense as to what your problems are with my medication too, but the medication slowed might slowed my reaction down essentially so he described it as you know. Basically, when I would get angry, I would have an incident and then I would snap okay and what the medication did was it. It slowed down my reaction time from the point at which I got angry and the point at which I snapped process yeah and then the therapist was the person that actually fixed me. The the medication made me receptive to the therapy.

Essentially that's the way. I understood it and the therapist was the one that just uncorked everything and you know talked about all of my issues and the therapist really. I think I knew that I was gon na unpack a lot of problems, but the therapist really unpacked a lot of problems, and I think I went in there to solve anger issues and realize that yeah yeah and it gave Jill a lot of context too, because You know again, I mentioned about sharing things, I think in the last episode. You know I shared stuff with you, but I don't know at least just before the move was when I really shared a lot of stuff with you.

I think, do you remember yeah? I think I really really unpacked a lot of stuff for Jill, but the therapy really unpacked even more not saying the therapy is the way to go for everybody guys. But it worked for me and there's a big stigma, though there's I think - and we kind of came to that conclusion, to what you were going through it. It's a lot of like our family and our like the older generation. They didn't they, don't that wasn't a thing and like a lot of people, still kind of have like apprehension towards going, but it really does help.

I think more people yeah. I distinctly remember having a conversation with my grandfather. I was having a conversation with my grandfather and I told him that I was going to see a therapist and I remember my grandmother being happy for me and saying that's really good. I'm glad you're doing that, and I remember my grandpa looking at me with a perplexed, look and asking me: why would you go see a doctor and talk about your feelings? Talk about your personal stuff to other people, type of thing like you, just keep it to yourself, like that.

It's just the way that it was. I mean a lot of people live like that, and it builds up so yeah and - and you know I mean to each their own again - not saying that this is just what worked for us right. Okay, so, but at the same time, while I was on the medicine actually shouldn't say at the same time, but while I was on the medicine, it led to some side effects and you know I we joke and say that you know you thought that was the Year that I slept for a year basically any time you weren't working, you were napping and those naps were like half an hour. They were like four to six hours yeah, so it was pretty frustrating.

So I guess, like I'm, a very patient person, so that probably helps I mean I got you know short and irritated here and there because I I don't know I kind of was trying to let you go through what you needed to go through, and so I Didn't need to bring you know more issues or more frustrations your way because, like it was just something you're going through and like, I think I understand you know like I mean as hard as it was to try to like get through that, like I understand so, And I think that I mean I was still aware it wasn't like. I was numb in oblivious to everything. It's just that when I had any down time. You were tired, it was tired, but I think it like had a lot to do with the medicine.

How it like affects your brain and it kind of seemed like it put me into a depression. Almost it's almost like, it was part of the medicine like it put me into that depression and just yeah, you know, had to work things out. You know it was an interesting time because you know I'd be wanting to go. Do stuff with you now that we, you know, had you home more, but it just kind of seemed like I was still just finding things for me and the girls to do yeah a lot and right at that time, too, was when you were starting to really Discover your health when I was like I got put on the thyroid medication, and then that like was bouncing my hormones around and my stuff.

So I kind of felt like there would be times where, like I was more angry and then there would be more times that I was like you know, upset and emotional and then sometimes that I was just like whatever and you know just kind of getting through. My day, but not putting more on you yeah, and so you were diagnosed with hypothyroidism at first, it was just hyperthyroidism, is kind of a diagnosis yeah. It was like that they test your TSH levels and my TSH levels were low, so it's all kind of little technical. But the doctor told me: oh, you have to start this level Roxon right away, like you know, to start feeling your normal self and you know blood blood tests along came along with that, and those are not my.

You know easiest thing to do. I'm not very good with that at all, so it wasn't. I'm looking forward to the process of trying to get that figured out, but I knew that I just didn't want to be tired anymore, so I was willing to do what I needed to do for that. So I went ahead and started medicine and then kind of like with Chris's.

I don't know whenever I you know he does it's like. I kind of started researching and like what can I do in order to like make myself better at the same time like? Why do you get this? Like you know? What what I can do you have like it was. It was food allergies was, was really started. Coming yeah like a couple, a couple of us a couple years like in death, I like having the thyroid issues.

I started like having like breaking out in rashes, random, rashes underneath my neck. It was from medicine or food. I didn't really know what it was, so I went and ended up seeing an allergist and he tied my hypothyroidism into one of the tests, and it showed that I had Hashim Moto's, which is, I guess they say where your immune system is attacking itself and then Further onto more research to see if I can get that under control and yeah, it's just kind of like balancing out and and then in the midst of that was the gluten intolerance. Well, they say because, like I mean the doctors, don't technically say that it's like gluten intolerance, but through your own research and like a lot of the pages and people that I have follow for information they you know.

So that's the best way to go to help correct that, and it's worked for me even though I'll tell the doctors that I've gone that route and they say, don't you know I'll, just listen to your body. If that's, what makes you feel better than that's fine, and so it's not really like. Yes, you have to do this, but it's really what's been a good balance between the medicine and my like dietary lifestyle, it's kind of a little and I've noticed you know since since you've kind of gotten a hold on the medication. It's taken a long time guys and I to go off on earth in yeah and you're still tweaking numbers and playing with things and seasonal things, change it's a trip, but what's also - and I'm not gon na knock the doctors, because the doctors have helped, but at The same time, it's also interesting when you're going through a problem like the the thyroid issue that she's going through is that, especially when you get to some of the older doctors like they have some old-school methods of just like? Oh, that's normal and oh, that's not a symptom when, in all reality, some of those things were screaming symptoms.

Well, I know a lot of the times they say like hypothyroidism can go undiagnosed and you can get diagnosed with, like all sorts of other issues, and so that's why I try to bring to my doctors like who you know is this under you know falling under That the hypothyroidism issue and they're like well, you know, there's not enough evidence, you know or something to say, but a lot of people will get diagnosed with depression or anxiety or like a fatigue syndrome and like all these different things you can like go around and Then it ends up being your thyroid. So, like I've been told, like my mom has told me, like doctors will teach and or they'll do what they know like what they've what they've been through. So, like you know, some doctors don't automatically treat with medicine and some doctors don't find it, so it's just kind of getting through it, but now that I've been on medication, I've learned that my body does not do well. If I get off of the medication.

So it's just a balance of the medication and my dietary lifestyle and trying to keep my stress under control, which is you know hard to do. Yeah, an adult's, my parent and a wife, and so dietary changes really helped get my hypothyroidism under control, as well as well as taking the medicine, and I also learned I wanted to mention that caffeine, even though I was tired a lot. I realized that I was over caffeinated myself, which was not helping in the least so like realizing and limiting my caffeine intake. I realized I maybe wasn't as tired as I kept thinking I was and so and I wasn't drinking enough water and so yeah, just big things.

You know seeing your doctor following through and just listening to your body and what works and limiting stress you know and guys I didn't understand what hypothyroidism was like and to give all fairness to. I wasn't fair to you because it's not that I didn't believe you, but I just I don't know it was there's a lot of people that deal with stuff that you don't see. You can't really see it on the outside and then like, like you you're with me all the time, so you don't really realize like if I'm looking tired or if I'm looking different. It's like that whole process and they went off the medicine like I felt and looked terrible and, like you wouldn't know, like you, didn't really notice, but then like.

I would see your dad and he was like. Are you sure, you're? Okay, because, like you basically know trained to be nice telling me, I look terrible and it wasn't that that particular incident guys to give context long story short. The doctor took her off of her medicine. She wanted my ass.

I asked because I thought that everything that I had done besides just taking the medicine that I could be fine and I learned the hard way that my body was like nope you you have to have this like you're you, it doesn't produce the right amount on Its own, so I was basically falling apart, and that was not a good incident because we took me we got a rude awakening when she called me from the doctor's office and said that she were two steps away from going to the emergency room. Yeah everything was starting to shut down and it was scary - and it's taken me about a year to get back to feeling as good as I did before. I stopped taking the medicine, and so it's been it's been a process but yeah. I guess patience and working through and talking about stuff in life like I always have you to talk to you and even if you're not listening.

Sometimes it's still it's good for me to say it out loud, but it's selective hearing, guys I'm listening! Okay. At this point you know I finished the course like the doctor had recommended. It was pretty much, I think, was spot-on with 18 months, yeah you're ready, I feel like I was you'd weaned off like medicine and stuff too and yeah. You felt pretty good about like not having to go back to the therapist and like talk about issues like you feel like you were.

I thought I feel like you worked yeah, but I, but I followed their course. I didn't stop. I didn't stop and so yeah being like. Now I don't need this like okay got ta go yeah and it was hard for me guys because I did not.

I did not want to take the medicine in the beginning, but I decided to go down that path. I decided to listen to the doctor and I did what they needed to do and for me it worked. It helped. Okay, it it just.

You know it was hard. You know in the meantime, while all that was going on, while her medical problems are going on, while hers are still going on mine still there, but I'm not seeing the doctor anymore, I'm not on medicine anymore, but normal life was happening guys. You know you know we we were busy, as ever with my work. You know you were working a night job as a waitress pretty much off and on that whole you know the move, everything you know she was still working, our kids we're going to school.

Our oldest daughter was in school or youngest daughter around that time was just starting school, you know, and we were kind of dealing with everything I mean we were stressed physically mentally physically. You know because of health problems. Financial financial was a huge thing for us. Financial was a whole nother aspect, you know, and so talking with a family member of mine.

She had always been talking about Dave, Ramsey, Dave, Ramsey and his Financial Peace University, and right at that time was when I really started listening to podcast 2 - and I remember I found Dave Ramsey's podcast and I started listening to his podcast and then I started watching His YouTube videos too yeah. I would watch his YouTube videos and I was really starting to think about the Dave, Ramsey stuff, and I mean some of his methods seemed a little out of whack like they seemed extreme like crazy extreme. If you follow verbatim it's insane, but you know, I really was starting to think about that and then you had a friend yeah like we both do, I think, even years before, like we had somebody that had mentioned and we had no idea and then you know A few years later it comes up again and then I had another friend that was like in the process of following pretty much everything to it. T that that Dave Ramsey like says to do - and I just I thought you know like the same thing like that's pretty extreme but like at the same time - it's like terrible to have such financial like stresses and it like, creates other problems and you're.

You know. Marriage and frustrations - and it's like you know when stuff comes, and you don't owe money to when Christmas comes up and you're like how are we gon na pay for all this stuff? It was just like tired of like not knowing or being stressed, or you know, not trained, try not to overspend, so we knew we needed to like do something, and that was we're both like really leaning. I think you were like okay, we're gon na download the book yeah I bought it. Well, I actually bought.

I actually have it right here. It's the she went and dug it out of her thing right there, but it's the Financial Peace University or a financial piece revisited and I'll actually link this down in the notes, because guys, if, if you guys, are looking to to go that route, if you're you Want to deal with financial issues, I highly suggest this: okay yeah, you know yeah, like I said I'll link it down in the notes of the video we'll get into it more, but we we followed. We started to like pay attention to like what was coming. Well.

Financially, what was coming in and financially what we were spending out and putting aside money for holidays for gifts for activities, and it just really started that makes sense, and we stopped spending the senseless money that you just don't think about. So I know we'll get into that: more yeah we'll do it we'll do an episode. It really did help. I think that that, as well as like moving here and just like all the little changes that we have made between like doing our health problems and our financial problems and different stuff, it's really kind of brought more of a sense of calm.

It's piled on as much as it was while we were living this period of our lives it it's not like. We didn't hate life yeah, you don't kind of feels like it's normal, like it's something that everybody goes through like that was yeah. That was something that we thought. A lot was that it was normal in and it was all small little things and I mean so what I'm trying to say is you know this all happened, and you know it wasn't like you know her health problems.

You know it started out as little things and at first it was hard for us to realize that there was all one big problem with your health problems and the same thing with with our life. You know my problems. It was just a little bit of everything we were dealing with stress. We were dealing with health problems and it was just all kind of happening, but you know it, it seemed normal to us yeah.

I guess it seems normal. I mean some days, I get more. You know they're stressful, then you know more stressful than others, but you know guys where we're going with this, I mean the whole point of why we're doing this. Video is because we want to express - or we want to make other people that might be going through similar issues realize that it's not just them.

We've said that before I think we said that on the last episode. Okay, you know that that period of our lives it's still going on, but I mean it was just kind of a stepping stone. It was. You know it took time to get through the process.

We didn't hate life, it was just things were stressful. You know adjusting and it kind of seemed normal, like I already said that a minute ago you know you know, there's not a fairytale ending to this. Okay, it's not like. We read the Dave Ramsey book and everything was fixed.

It's not like you went to the doctor and life is peachy. I went to see a therapist, it's it didn't fix everything. Okay, we still have struggles. You know we still work just as much, but your home there's a lot of days where we kind of just pass each other by and but then there's days where we get to spend the whole day so yeah.

You know I still bottle things up. I still bottle things up. I try not to as much I try to let things out a little bit more. I haven't fixed everything.

You still have you still get too cold. Sometimes you still get too hot. Sometimes we joke that it's women's winter right because it's too cold yeah, I have the air conditioner set at 74, it's 90 degrees outside and she's sitting on a sweater right now, because she's cold. So you know Jill's health problems, they're, never gon na go away.

Okay, my health problems, medicine, didn't fix everything. I still have anxiety. I still have anger issues. It doesn't go away in my eyes.

We just learned how to cope with yeah. You know, I think, we've. The important thing is that we've recognized these things and we haven't. Let them go unnoticed and taken care of, and so that helps create, like a better relationship for us like together.

I think that we're willing to work and willing to change to make us feel better and like yeah yeah, and I think that much to your dismay, I think that you've kind of come to terms with the fact that you're pretty much gon na have to take Medicine for the rest of you in one way or another yeah, I mostly come out with. Like some. You know: super cool technology, yeah, alright guys so we're gon na wrap this one up. We are gon na.

Do another episode soon we're good. We got a couple. Other things we want to cover, we definitely want to go into the financial stuff. We want to talk about what the Dave Ramsey, what we did.

What worked for us? Okay, you know, like I said, I'll, put a link to the book that will help to us in the show notes, and I just want to say thank you guys for taking the time to watch this video and these this series. Okay, I've gotten lots of great support from you guys. I do see the comments and remember that I read every single comment, so whatever you guys leave I'll try to respond to it. Okay, I really appreciate it and you know I guess that's just gon na be it for this one and we will see you guys on the next one: okay, bye,.